It's time to set the record straight about my chronic pain. Like Usher once said — these are my confessionsssss. And you might find that some of them are yours too.
I feel pain every day.
Most of the time I'm so used to the pain it doesn't really effect me.
If I have more than 2 days of terrible flare up pain, I start to become depressed.
My pain causes depression and depression causes more pain.
When I don't feel good and people ask what could have caused it, I get mad.
I have a love hate relationship with my pain. Sometimes I'm happy I have it. It's made me stronger in other facets of my life.
I really enjoy going to the doctor. I feel like I'm accomplishing something each time I go.
I hate exercising "for fun". Extraneous physical movement is never fun.
When people innocently share what a good workout they've had, I feel resentful.
I push myself just to prove that I can be like everyone else.
I sometimes use my pain as an excuse to get out of things I don't want to do, even if I can do them.
Lots of times I do things I know will cause me to be in pain, just to show that my condition won't stop me.
I loved getting every surgery I've had.
My scars make me happy, because they make my pain visible. Giving it credibility that it is real.
Getting out of bed is the most difficult part of my day. I have a hard time functioning before 10am.
My pain changes constantly and is hard to predict or keep track of.
My ferret, Sneaky Weasel, is the best form of therapy for me.
I sometimes feel jealous of people with conditions that are more visible.
I find too much comfort in my favorite foods.
Most foods completely disgust me.
Sometimes wearing clothing hurts.
Listening to my body is the best way to treat myself.
I've learned to love myself, chronic illness and all.
I'm very proud of my battle with pain, and love sharing my story with others.