Everything Hurts

17 lessons learned in 2017

Amanda VinciComment

01.  I identify as a spoonie, but being a spoonie is not my identity

02.  I have the same ability every other person has, even with a disability

03.  Physical fitness is achievable, even with chronic pain


05.  Don't trust first impressions

06.  Allow myself to feel sad. It's okay to not be okay

07.  Stand up for what's just. Speak up for myself and for others

08.  Always plan for some down time after periods of high activity

09.  Speak openly and without apology about my illness


11.  Don't be afraid to try new treatments and let go of old ones

12.  Think about the future but don't obsess over it

13.  Make a conscious effort to focus when foggy

14.  I am not alone in this fight

15.  Don't place limitations on myself before even attempting to do something


17.   My muscles do way more than just feel pain

18.  I love my body, it's given me so much more than its taken away



Tricks & Treats for Spoonies

Amanda VinciComment

It's day after Halloween, but I'm still in the trick or treat spirit. Whether you've been feeling pretty ghoulish this fall or are a flare-free unicorn, one things for sure — we're all a little bit Wonder Woman. Here are my favorite fall tricks and treats for feeling good and getting cozy!


These telephone cord hair ties are totally on trend right now, and for good reason. The Invisibobble helps you to style all sorts of up-dos without creating dents or causing headaches and migraines. I've also uncovered a hidden use! I like to keep one on my right wrist to rub out arthritis pain by simply rolling it around! 

Wölffer Estate is beautiful winery located right nearby my home in Long Island, NY. They've recently gotten some new attention for their beautifully designed wine bottles and labels, and as a designer, I couldn't help but give them a try. I've fallen in love with their individual bottles of Dry Rosé Cider and refuse to stop drinking it just because it's fall. Who says cider has to be apple?

I simply can't get work done with my legs planted on the floor in an upright seated position. I always need to adjust, stretch and elevate to keep from cramping and an under-desk leg rest is the key to my productivity.

All the pretty girls are using it, and since all girls are pretty, you guys should definitely use this too! My skin is not handling the spastic summer/fall/winter weather rotation that's been underway in NYC, and this gentle & natural cleanser has soothed my irritation and left my skin feeling soft and supple.

It's scarf season! So treat yourself to a big soft, adorable and oversized one like this Madewell embroidered "Making Faces" cotton number. The trick? I like to use my scarves to stretch out during the day, almost like a resistance band.

Everyone's about the face masks lately, including me. But how about one you can use again and again? Two night ago I woke up in the middle of the night to super irritated skin and a swollen jawline. I grabbed an ice pack and fell asleep with it but it just wasn't staying in place or covering enough of my face. I purchased this awesome/scary looking mask on Amazon and I can't wait to try it out!  

What products are you fawning over this fall? 

My Spoon Theory

Amanda VinciComment

People who suffer from chronic illnesses tend to refer to themselves as "Spoonies". I do it all the time when referring to our community, especially here on Everything Hurts. If you refer to yourself as a Spoonie chances are you've heard the Spoon Theory, and if you're like me, you somewhat get it, but don't really understand how exactly it applies to your life.

The Spoon Theory was born when Christine Miserandino was asked by a friend what it felt like to be a person who's sick with Lupus while they were out to eat. Christine quickly grabbed all the spoons from her table and the tables around them and handed them to her friend. "Here you go, you have Lupus" she said to her. She explained that the difference between being someone who's sick and someone who is healthy is that you consciously have to choose what you're going to do each day. Every day you need to count your spoons and know just how many you have before you get started, then, with each activity or task you do you have to give away one of those spoons. The theory really breaks down into rationing your energy and strength so that you can complete each day with the amount of "spoons" you are given.

I always had this theory in the back of my mind, especially when having to explain my conditions to my friends and family. Sometimes I use spoons, but other times ill just use whatever is around us to make the point. 

The truth is, I never really applied the Spoon Theory to my actual life. Every day is different, and good days can mean twenty spoons while bad days can mean 3... but I figured it might be fun to to decode the Spoon Theory for myself, calculating the amount of "spoons" I have on an average day and just what I use them on.

Whether its a great day or the worst one ever, getting out of bed will always cost me at least 1 spoon. Sometimes 2-3, but on an average day 1. I have to contort myself into different positions until I feel like I can finally sit up and prep myself for putting my feet on the floor.

Getting ready for work is the hardest thing I do all day. Harder than training with my personal trainer, harder than walking up the steps at Penn Station, harder than walking back and forth to work. Just putting my clothing on feels like an Olympic sport, and don't even talk to me about doing my damn hair.

OMG MY HAIR. Sometimes I decide to not even spend this spoon. If I don't have a date or an afterwork event, forget it, it's going up or it's staying a mess, I really don't care. It's not worth it. I'm Sicilian and my hair is difficult to tame, so if I am doing my hair it's when I have a spare spoon after showering at night or some extra time in the morning.

I have an amazing job as a Senior Art Director right in Midtown Manhattan, and I'm so lucky that I live right in walking distance of the train that takes me to work in about 45 mins. I take a 10 min walk to that train in LI and then another 10 min walk from Penn Station in NYC to my office. All that hustling wakes me up and gives me a boost of energy that I need to start my day, but usually costs me 1 to 2 spoons.

I spend an average day working at my laptop, getting up to go to meetings and walking the Highline to get lunch. All in all, it costs me about 2-3 spoons.

SPOON 9-10 (or 100): COMMUTE AGAIN
Commuting home usually costs about 1 spoon, but thanks to the irregularity of the MTA and the hellscape that can be an overcrowded and delayed Long Island Railroad, it may straight up kill me, there's no telling which one.

SPOON 11 or +1: PHYSICAL THERAPY (2x a week)
Depending on how I'm feeling physical therapy can either give me back or cost me a spoon. On an average visit I pretty much break even. I love going to get a great stretch, heat and stim and a massage targeted to what hurts me the most that day. 

SPOON 12-14: PERSONAL TRAINING (2-3x a week)
I absolutely LOVE working with my personal trainer Rob (see my previous post for more info!) even though these sessions make me feel empowered and successful, they definitely cost a spoon or 2.

You've probably heard about my ESA Sneaky Weasel, one of the biggest little loves in my life! And recently I've been blessed with another ferret, Cannoli. He's nowhere near an ESA yet, and is still a frisky 8 month old who's up to no good. Cleaning up, playing with and caring for these guys definitely takes a spoon away.

Getting ready to go to bed is almost as exhausting as getting ready to get up from it. I have a pretty long routine thanks to my addiction to beauty products and muscle rubs and stretches, but if I skip out on it all I usually don't feel as good for the next day.

ALL IN ALL: 16 spoons
Not bad, not bad at all.

So that's my average spoon usage! On other days I'll swap out therapy and training with a work event, a date, time spent with friends or extra work/working late, but all in all I use about 16 spoons on an average pain day. What this means is that on a pain day where I have only 10 or even 5 spoons many of these activities have to be eliminated or modified. That's usually when I work from home, cancel plans or add in an activity that could help me to feel better, like taking a bath.

I'm super glad I ran through this to give myself an idea of how much energy and effort I have to spend as I go about my week. I definitely recommend you do it too! 🥄


Train to fight pain!

Amanda VinciComment

The past few years of fighting chronic pain has been tough on my body in more ways than one. With little exercise, eating too many carbs and sweets and entering my late 20's, weight gain was inevitable. The more weight I began to put on, the worse I felt, and the less I moved. And the less I moved, the worse I felt. Things we're beginning to spiral out of control real fast.


I've been going to the gym about 2-3 times a week for almost a year, and haven't seen any real results. I'd go in after a physical therapy session, so I was nice and warmed up, and then hit the elliptical for 30 mins for some low impact cardio. If I felt alright afterwards I'd move over to some weight machines and then call it a day. I was wasting my time, and getting no results.

One night after another useless workout I had the urge to ask about personal training, I was fed up and afraid, but it was time to make some sort of change. That's when I spoke to Rob. Rob was everything I needed right at that moment, he was super encouraging, curious about my conditions and optimistic about what I could achieve. I was always afraid of personal training, in my mind, that was something for fit healthy people, not a girl who struggles to climb the subway steps. My mind was about to be changed.

When I first booked a few trial appointments with Rob I wrote down "fibromyalgia, autoimmune disease, arthritis and www.everythinghurts.me" on a piece of paper, and he told me he'd do his homework. I came in a few days later and he was super excited to show me everything he learned about training someone with chronic pain. We got started on a training program that would condition me to excel at my every day tasks, reduce my pain and stiffness, and help me to tone up and slim down.

Rob's been training be for over a month now and the results are real. I'm physically a different person, and the changes are dramatic on the inside and starting to break through to the outside. He's got 3-4 different routines prepped for me, and we carry them out depending on how I'm feeling and what's hurting. Rob says the key to a successful trainer is education and observation — seeing problems and trouble shooting them to find the right solution. When we work together, he's not just counting reps off to me, he's calculating — studying my position, what's bothering me, what's going to strengthen me, and give me the best work out possible for that day.

Block Training is Rob's independent training business, inspired by the Eastern Block training systems that dominated sports before the time of the Cold War. A scientist was assigned to each athlete to break down their movements, study their muscle mass and body fat and find the solution to making them the best at their sport. This is how Rob approaches each of his clients, as individuals with unique problems that need specific solutions. If you live in the NYC/Long Island area I promise you you will not find a harder working more passionate trainer than Rob. Reach out to him at @block_training / blocktraining@yahoo.com / 5164745108 and tell him Everything Hurts sent you.

I've never felt more strong and determined in my life. I was always the kid who got winded running alongside the soccer ball at 6 years old, I could never imagine myself boxing, deadlifting and throwing a medicine ball. Now here I am, beating my 15 year old sister at reps of squats. And even though I'm still far from where I want to be, I'm a long way from where I've started.

Traveling Pains

Amanda VinciComment

I've been traveling a lot lately, and like most people, I love it. But unlike most people, traveling can actually cause me to be in more pain than I'm usually in. New and uncomfortable mattresses, long plane or car rides, extra physical activity and an unhealthy diet are all culprits in making some time away mean some time in a flare. I haven't let that threat stop me yet, and although I haven't been able to completely avoid being in pain for traveling, I've got some keys🔑 to being as comfortable as possible during your vacation.

Flying on a plane? Make sure to get yourself an aisle seat ahead of time. Sometimes if they're not available the desk attendant can help you out before you board if you say it's for medical reasons! I've found that having an aisle seat means more room to stretch your leg and arm out when someone's not walking by, easier access to the bathrooms and less people touching you unexpectedly. If you're lucky you'll be able to get one that allows the side that hurts the most to get the most room.

Whether you're driving or flying, bringing at least one small cushion with you allows you to prop yourself in ways to avoid pain. Some years ago I purchased this memory foam pebble pillow from MUJI that I always sleep with and travel with. Sadly, I can't find it anywhere anymore, so my old one is one of my most treasured possessions. When I forget to pack it along, my whole trip is out of sync.

Kayaking on Eagle Lake, PA

Kayaking on Eagle Lake, PA

I'm a self confessed over-planner. For every trip I go on, work or pleasure, I make myself a Google doc itinerary and save sights and restaurants on my Foursquare. Planning ahead assures me not only that I'm getting to all the spots I wouldn't want to miss, but that I'm not over doing it each day.

I beautiful Airbnb with good mattresses can make all the difference! Austin, TX

I beautiful Airbnb with good mattresses can make all the difference! Austin, TX

Traveling with your emotional support animal can make all the difference in having a comfortable vacation. Contact the airline, hotel or airbnb you will be visiting to make sure you're good to go with your buddy. If you're planning on taking them to restaurants also either make sure they have an outdoor space or are cool with the animal being inside of the establishment. I recently had the most wonderful experience bringing Sneaky Weasel to the Dancing Cat Saloon in the Catskills of NY! They gave him a big bowl of cool water, let him use the rest room and even interviewed him for their Facebook live! 

Sneaky Weasel hits the great outdoors in Eagle Lake, PA

Sneaky Weasel hits the great outdoors in Eagle Lake, PA

As soon as I touchdown in a new city, I can't wait to taste test the local eats. Planning which places I have to go to beforehand helps me to make healthier choices and assures I'm getting exactly what I want. Being a spoonie often means limited food choices, and can be hard to stick to your diet in uncharted territory. I'm pretty guilty of going way off path, but knowing where to go takes away the stress of finding something edible on the menu.

Delicious Pasta alla Checca (gluten free and vegan options available) at Hillside Farmacy in Austin, TX

Delicious Pasta alla Checca (gluten free and vegan options available) at Hillside Farmacy in Austin, TX

Insanely good Chilaquiles at La Condesa in Austin, TX

Insanely good Chilaquiles at La Condesa in Austin, TX

Take travel sizes of everything you use on a daily basis to fight pain in your cargo. Muscle rubs, extra meds, stretch straps and muscle tape always makes it's way into my bag. If you wouldn't go a day without it at home, don't think you can go a day without it on vacation.

My favorite bath bombs and essential oils made tub time at the Glen Cove Mansion a sweet escape.

My favorite bath bombs and essential oils made tub time at the Glen Cove Mansion a sweet escape.

I'm a doer, not a relaxer. I'm the first one to get bored laying out by the water or hanging around the hotel room. Something I've been working on lately is enjoying the peace of freedom from the everyday. Your time away should be filled with beautiful sights, culture and adventure, but it should also be about you caring for yourself. Make sure to set aside time to heal mentally and physically and you'll notice the difference when you get back to reality.